Female Covert Narcissist: 7 clear signs & strategies for dealing

Female Covert Narcissist: 7 clear signs & strategies for dealing

Understanding the tricky world of dealing with a female covert narcissist is like unlocking a puzzle. But we’re here to guide you through it all. Dive into our guide where we break down the sneaky cheating patterns they use and how to spot the signs. Plus, we’ve got seven solid strategies to help you handle these challenging personalities. So let’s tackle this together and empower ourselves to navigate these tricky relationships with confidence!

What is a Female Covert Narcissist?

Are you a covert narcissist? In the realm of psychological dynamics, narcissism isn’t always easily recognizable. While the stereotype often conjures images of loud, boastful individuals, there exists a more insidious variant: the covert narcissist. Covert narcissism manifests in subtler ways, making it harder to detect, especially when it comes to covert women narcissists. A female covert narcissist is characterized by a subtle yet pervasive sense of entitlement, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.

Unlike their overt counterparts, who openly display grandiosity and arrogance, covert narcissists mask their narcissistic tendencies behind a facade of humility and self-effacement. But sometimes in the context of a covert narcissistic woman, suffering, emotional pain, and feeling broken can encapsulate the human struggle.

They may appear charming, empathetic, and selfless on the surface, but beneath this veneer lies a fragile ego that craves constant validation and attention. But growing up with covertly narcissistic parents can deeply influence an individual’s behavior. And their personal experiences, potentially leading to the manifestation of traits associated with certain personality disorders.

Here we’ll explore seven common cheating patterns they use in relationships, giving you a heads-up on what to watch out for. Because female narcissists hardly can be faithful.

  • Emotional Infidelity

A covert female narcissist may engage in emotional affairs, seeking validation and admiration from others outside their primary relationship.

  • Gaslighting

Because they manipulate their partners into questioning their own reality, making them doubt their perceptions and experiences.

  • Victimhood

The Covert vulnerable narcissists often portray themselves as victims, deflecting blame onto their partners and eliciting sympathy and support.

  • Triangulation

They create love triangles to maintain control and gain a sense of power and superiority.

  • Silent Treatment

Female covert narcissist uses silent treatment as a form of punishment and manipulation, withholding affection and attention to assert dominance.

  • Financial Manipulation

They may use money as a tool for control, withholding financial resources or using them to assert dominance in the relationship.

  • Emotional Blackmail

Covert narcissists guilt-trip their partners into compliance, using emotional manipulation to get what they want.

Here are the signs of a female covert narcissist that can shed light on complex dynamics in relationships. So let’s explore seven key indicators that may help you identify these subtle yet impactful narcissistic traits.

1. False Humility

False humility in a female covert narcissist is characterized by a façade of modesty and self-effacement that masks a deep-seated sense of entitlement and superiority. Unlike overt narcissists who exhibit grandiose behavior openly, covert narcissists display a more subtle form of narcissism, making them harder to identify.

These individuals may downplay their accomplishments and talents in public, often attributing their success to external factors or luck. However, beneath this veneer of humility lies a strong belief in their own exceptionalism and a deep-seated need for admiration and validation from others.

Female covert narcissist may also use their apparent modesty as a manipulative tactic to elicit praise and reassurance from those around them. They may fish for compliments or play the victim to garner sympathy and attention, all while maintaining a facade of humility.

2. A Female Covert Narcissist Lack of Empathy

Despite appearing empathetic on the surface, covert female narcissists lack genuine empathy and compassion for others. They may mimic empathetic behavior when it serves their interests, but their empathy is shallow and self-serving.

These individuals may use empathy as a tool for manipulation, feigning concern to gain trust and exploit others. However, their lack of true empathy becomes apparent in their actions, as they prioritize their own needs and desires above the feelings of others.

Covert female narcissist may also exhibit a lack of empathy in their relationships, showing little remorse or guilt for hurting others. They may justify their actions, blaming others for their problems and refusing to take responsibility for their behavior.

3. Attention-seeking Behavior

A female covert narcissist constantly seeks validation and admiration from others, using charm and manipulation to get their way. They may appear charming and likable on the surface, but their behavior is driven by a deep-seated need for attention and approval.

These individuals may go to great lengths to be the center of attention, using tactics such as flattery, gossip, or dramatic behavior to capture the spotlight. They may also manipulate others into meeting their needs, using guilt or coercion to get what they want.

Female covert narcissists may also seek attention through more subtle means, such as playing the victim or creating drama in their relationships. They may use these tactics to garner sympathy and support, ensuring that they remain the focus of others’ attention.

4. A Fragile Ego

Female covert narcissist often presents a confident facade to the world, but beneath this exterior lies a fragile ego that requires constant reassurance and validation. Despite their outward appearance of self-assurance, they are highly sensitive to criticism and rejection.

Due to narcissistic personality disorder, these individuals may react defensively to even minor slights. Or criticisms, perceiving them as personal attacks on their worth and superiority. Because their fragile ego drives them to seek constant validation from others, often through achievements, compliments, or admiration.

Their need for reassurance can lead them to engage in attention-seeking behaviors, such as fishing for compliments or exaggerating their accomplishments. Any perceived threat to their self-esteem can trigger intense feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, causing them to lash out or withdraw emotionally.

5. Boundary Violations

Covert narcissists often have a disregard for boundaries, viewing others as mere extensions of themselves rather than autonomous individuals with their own needs and rights. They may intrude on others’ personal space, manipulate their emotions, or disregard their wishes without remorse. This is a scary thing about these women.

These individuals may exploit personal information shared in confidence, use it against others, or manipulate situations to serve their own interests. They may also disregard social, emotional, or physical boundaries in relationships, believing they are entitled to special treatment or privileges.

Their lack of respect for boundaries can result in dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships, as they prioritize their own needs and desires above those of others. So they may struggle to maintain healthy boundaries in relationships, leading to feelings of resentment, frustration, and betrayal in their partners or loved ones.

6. Manipulative Behavior

Female covert narcissist frequently engages in manipulative tactics to control others and maintain their sense of superiority. They may use gaslighting, guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, or other forms of psychological manipulation to manipulate situations and people to their advantage.

Gaslighting involves manipulating someone into doubting their own perceptions, memories, or sanity, making them more dependent on the narcissist for validation and guidance. Guilt-tripping involves using guilt or shame to manipulate others into doing what the narcissist wants, often by exaggerating their suffering or portraying themselves as victims.

Emotional blackmail involves using threats, manipulation, or emotional manipulation to control others’ behavior, often by exploiting their vulnerabilities or insecurities. These manipulative behaviors can create toxic and dysfunctional dynamics in relationships, eroding trust, and damaging self-esteem.

7. Lack of Accountability

Female covert narcissist rarely take responsibility for their actions, preferring to shift blame onto others or make excuses for their behavior. Because they may deny or minimize their mistakes, and distort the truth. Or deflect criticism to protect their fragile ego and maintain their sense of superiority.

These individuals may use tactics such as rationalization, justification, or denial to avoid accountability for their actions, making it difficult for others to hold them responsible for their behavior. They may also engage in blame-shifting, projecting their own faults onto others to avoid facing uncomfortable truths about themselves.

Their refusal to acknowledge their mistakes or take responsibility for their actions can damage relationships and erode trust, as others may feel invalidated or betrayed by their lack of accountability. Without accountability, it becomes challenging to address and resolve conflicts or issues in relationships, leading to further dysfunction and resentment.

Dealing with a female covert narcissist can be tough, but there are ways to handle it. Check out these seven simple strategies that can help you navigate the challenges and take control of the situation with confidence.

1. Set Boundaries

  • Spot the Tricks– First off, you gotta recognize the sneaky ways they try to control situations. But that could be anything from making you doubt yourself to playing the victim card.
  • Draw the Line– Decide what behavior you’re not cool with and be crystal clear about it. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and make it known what you won’t tolerate.
  • Stay Strong– Expect them to push back when you set boundaries. So to put these manipulators in their place hold your ground. So don’t let them guilt-trip or manipulate you into giving in.
  • Keep It Simple– Avoid getting drawn into long debates about your boundaries. Say what you need to say and leave it at that.
  • Trust Yourself– You don’t need their approval to know what’s right for you. So trust your gut and stick to your guns.

2. Practice Self-Care

  • Look After You– Put your well-being first. Whether it’s hitting the gym, chilling with friends, or indulging in your hobbies, make time for things that make you feel good.
  • Me Time Matters– Schedule regular breaks away from the narcissist to recharge and reflect on your feelings.
  • Stay Present– Practice mindfulness to stay grounded and cope better with their behavior.
  • Get Help if You Need It– Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist if you’re struggling to cope. Because they can help you deal with the stress and come up with coping strategies.

3. Seek Support to Deal with a Female Covert Narcissist

  • Talk It Out– Share your feelings with trusted friends or family members who’ve got your back. Because having someone to talk to can make a world of difference. And it’s essential to seek mental healthcare.
  • Consider Therapy– Therapy or support groups can provide a safe space to vent and learn from others who’ve been through similar experiences.
  • Get Educated– Learn more about narcissistic women’s behavior so you know what you’re dealing with. Knowledge is power, and it can help you handle the situation better.

4. Maintain Independence

  • Do Your Own Thing– It’s essential to have your own life outside of the relationship. Whether it’s hobbies, best friends, or personal goals, don’t lose sight of what makes you happy independently of the narcissist.
  • Believe in Yourself– Don’t rely too much on the narcissist for validation. Your self-worth isn’t tied to their approval.

5. Validate Your Own Reality

  1. Trust Your Gut– Your feelings and experiences are valid, even if the narcissist tries to convince you otherwise. Trust yourself and your instincts.
  2. You Matter– Instead of seeking validation from the narcissist, validate yourself. Recognize your own worth and trust your feelings.

6. Avoid Engaging in Power Struggles

  • Don’t Get Sucked In– Covert narcissists love power struggles. So don’t fall into the trap of trying to control them or prove yourself to them—it only fuels their ego.
  • Stay Grounded– Focus on maintaining your boundaries and emotional well-being rather than trying to win arguments or assert dominance.

7. Consider Exiting the Relationship

  • Check the Signs– If the relationship turns toxic or unbearable, it might be time to reevaluate. Your well-being should always come first.
  • Think It Through– Reflect on whether the relationship adds more stress than joy to your life. Seeking advice from a therapist or trusted friend can provide clarity.
  • Take Care of Yourself– If leaving is the best option, prioritize self-care and lean on your support system for guidance and comfort.


As we wrap up our journey through the world of female covert narcissists, one thing is clear: knowledge is power. By learning about their cheating patterns, identifying their signs, and mastering effective coping strategies, we’re equipped to safeguard our emotional and mental health and handle relationships with strength.

Remember, even though it might be tough, the insights we’ve gained here are guiding us toward healthier connections and greater happiness. Let’s move forward with confidence, armed with awareness and strategies to prioritize our own well-being in all our relationships.

Author Tarannum Ali

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