Feeling like you hate your mom is a negative emotional situation that can happen to anyone. Remember that your mother, like every human being, is not perfect and can make mistakes. It’s normal to feel angry or frustrated with her. But it’s also important to appreciate the things she has done for you. Such as giving you life, nurturing you, teaching you, and taking care of you. Instead of getting trapped in negative emotions, try to find ways to cope with blaming and overcome the feeling of “I hate my mother.”
It’s not fair that you remember when she yelled at you, but you forgot when she supported you. In fact, we hate some people because we don’t know them, and won’t know them because we hate them. Hating your mother is a terrible thing. Sometimes you dislike her for some reason, but that doesn’t mean you always hate her.
What State of Mind Are You Going Through When You Think You Hate Your Mom?
It reflects a negative emotional state when someone said, “I hate my mom.” In fact, people who say this hardly mean what they say and are usually just crazy at the time. However, some people really do hate their mothers, and usually for some reason.
- When someone feels that they hate their mother, they may experience negative emotions such as anger, disappointment, hurt, guilt, or confusion.
- These emotions can be complex to process and may stem from past experiences or current conflicts with their mother.
- Feelings of disappointment may come from unmet expectations or broken promises, while feelings of hurt may arise from a specific event or a general sense of neglect or rejection.
- Someone may feel guilty for having negative feelings towards their mother, especially if they feel like they should be grateful or respectful towards her.
- It’s important to remember that these emotions are normal and seeking help from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial in exploring and navigating them.
- A trained professional can provide support and guidance to help individuals work through these difficult feelings, improve their relationships, and promote personal growth.
Do you really hate your mom or dislike her?
Try to realize do you really hate your mom or dislike her because of her attitude. If there are only symptoms of disliking her then don’t worry. Because it is not a big issue so just let her be a parent. Whatever attitude she has, she definitely is not living with it knowingly to hurt you. When you dislike or disagree with something here, just keep your opinion on the table. And discuss why you expected her to act differently in that particular situation.
If she agrees to even listen, you are blessed. She disliked many things when you were growing up, but she never judged your behavior. She is the way of your existence in this world and even if she is wrong, she can’t be disliked or disrespected. But if there are some worst things you are facing within your relationship that cause hatred feelings toward her.
Take time to reflect on yourself, maybe commit to journaling about your feelings, and answer some crucial questions. That may help you to understand why you hate your mother. Is this something she did? Did it hurt you? Have you been neglected, abused, or abandoned? Have there been any misunderstandings? All of these questions can help to find out the reality behind your feelings. So the first thing you should do is find out the root cause of your feelings about your mother. So think for yourself and find out why you hate your mother and what should you do now.
Is it okay to hate your mom?
When your mother is unkind or abusive to you or puts you down repeatedly. And if you feel like she has wronged you, hurt you, or treated you unfairly. Then it’s really possible to feel hatred or animosity toward her. Because when your mother mistreated you — whether she intentionally abused you, held you to unrealistic and harmful expectations, or forced you to live a life you also hated. Then the final result of all that may be that you end up hating your mother.
Your feelings may be intensified because of the expectation that mothers love and care for their children. But not every mother is loving and caring for her child. Unfortunately, people may experience these negative and even hateful feelings. So there is nothing wrong with you feeling anger. It’s really not nice, not fun, it’s awful to cry about and to be furious about, but it is okay that you feel that way.
Because It is your emotions that control you and prevent you from harming yourself in the future. Usually, hating your mother is a mental way to protect yourself from further disappointment. Although you may carry some guilt around it, it’s natural to experience these feelings. And there’s nothing wrong with you having them. The first step to overcoming these feelings is to understand them.
The 5 Logical Reasons Why You Hate Your Mom
1) Your very conflicting thoughts may be responsible for this negative emotional state
Sometimes conflicting thoughts in a relationship can be very stressful. It usually happens when one person enjoys feeling higher than another. Maybe you often get so obsessed with your desires that you forget how your decisions affect others.
Although communication is a crucial element in every relationship. But your very conflicting thoughts create a lack of communication. Or sometimes communicating the wrong way leads to misunderstanding between you.
Sometimes your high expectations may be responsible. Because when you fail to meet expectations you feel you hate your mother due to hurt and hate. To navigate the situation effectively try to understand that your mothers are people first. And have their own mental and emotional dis-functions to deal with. Sometimes the children may suffer the consequences.
2) Due to her lack of parenting skills, there is a mutual understanding problem
Being a mother is easy but fulfilling the responsibilities of being one is not so easy. Parenting is not all about providing shelter, food, clothes, and education for the children along with some disciplining. She doesn’t spend time having a real heart-to-heart conversation or getting to know her child as a person. Due to strict or rigid discipline, she does not allow you to explore your world, which leads to you becoming fearful and anxious or rebellious. She does not listen to your thoughts and feelings.
Actually, she does not have the skill of supporting and accepting her child, by being physically affectionate and spending quality time together. So there is a lack of love and affection that give you a reason to feel that you hate your mom or you hate your dad hate you.
3) She is controlling and domineering
She deprives you of space to make your own choices and trust your instincts and ideas. So because of his domineering behavior, you may feel disgusted, as you are often unable to act on your behalf.
If your mother has been abusive toward you and she’s controlling, it is normal to have feelings of anger and hatred for her. Even if she hasn’t been abusive, it is common to have complicated feelings about your mothers. Mothers and children all have different relationships, and no mother is the same.
Sometimes the causes of life-long anger that you hold against your mother could be due to any of the following: Physical or emotional neglect. Your mom may not have been intentionally abusive, but she was motivated by their own weaknesses or limited emotional capacity.
4) She has been the embodiment of emotional abuse toward you
Like a narcissist, your mother is very judgmental critical, over-sensitive, and easily offended. Sometimes she competes with you for the spotlight or to take credit for their successes. She cares a lot about what the neighbors think. She pushes you to achieve in areas that she considers important without regard to your preferences.
Perhaps she has more than one child, she plays favorites or sees whoever is pleasing her at that moment as the good one and the other as the bad one. She is likely to become very angry if you openly disobey her. So you feel afraid of displeasing her. Because she has been the embodiment of emotional abuse towards you.
5) She is self-centered so consistently ignores your stated boundaries
Your limits may go beyond the limits of her rules. So your boundaries may conflict with her rules. First and foremost, your role is to respect her. This may be hateful for you that after being an adult you are still under her authority. Sometimes it is not acceptable that even, you have to accept that your parents will shape your life.
Perhaps your mother is a self-centered and toxic woman who consistently ignores your stated boundaries, withholds love, invalidates your feelings in any way, displays toxic traits, and these may manifest in more ways than those stated here. It gives you a reason to hate your mother. When you find that there is no purpose for you to set up boundaries yet.
What Should You Do If You Feel You Hate Your Mom?
Hate can leave you bitter and emotionally drained. Even if you still hate your mother, you need to figure out why, so you don’t blame yourself. Getting to the bottom of a problem is always helpful.
Moreover, if you are interested in getting rid of your mother’s self-loathing or solving the problem, you should figure out why you hate your mother in the first place.
Examine the feelings of hatefulness
Examine the feelings of hatefulness and if you find that you hate your mother without any reason this means you blindly hate her. Sometimes It may seem impossible to overcome when you blindly hate your mom. But if you will be grateful for some good things that she did for you then you can easily forgive your mother’s mistakes.
It can be Psychologically helpful to you. The world is a large place with many answers, there is no greater purpose to getting stuck upon a process that you are not in a position to resolve positively. In other words, Hate can never be held, it’s either released or it destroys the heart where it resides. Holding hate only leaves destruction. This is because hate is anger’s second to the last step in the march of personal destruction.
Don’t let it ruin your own relationships
Don’t be stuck in this negative emotional state because hate has the power to destroy your relationships. So your mental health needs to confront and deal with these feelings. Stopping the grudges and allowing yourself to feel that way every time you think about your mother can affect all of your relationships with others. If you have a relationship, this includes your relationship with your children. Try to figure out why you feel the way.
So when feeling a pang of hate, be very aware and work towards discovering release. Being human we all will have felt this emotion at some point in our life. But also discovering it is a lesson in how to release towards a better life also. Always be grateful for the challenges life gives you. It is an opportunity to grow and learn.
Talk to your mother when you feel this way
In all honesty, reaching out to your mom to reconnect and cope in a way you think may or may not be possible is the best solution. It all depends on you, your situation, and the reasons behind your hatred.
Talking to your mother before you get to a good place can open up old wounds. And make a bad situation worse than it already is. If you don’t like that you hate your mom and you are serious about reconnecting with your mother, it is important to be aware and cautious.
Related- When A Daughter Hurts Her Mother
Let it go to relieve these negative feelings
If you don’t let go of the feeling of ” I hate my mother, it will consume you and begin to seep into other areas of your life. Unfortunately, this is something that many people have fallen victim to. There is a common belief that hatred is more harmful to the person it is directed at than to the person it is directed at.
While hate can motivate people to act violently. Or otherwise hesitate, at the end of the day, they still have to live with what’s inside them. Basically, holding on to hatred is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. The only way to free yourself is to let it go. Forgiveness and gratitude are all you need to set yourself free. Because forgiving others teaches us to forgive ourselves.
It may seem impossible when you seriously hate your mom. But if you can forgive your mother for her mistakes and be grateful to her. You have the power to rise above any damage to your psyche. If you are unable to deal with your hating feeling. Then it is best to find a therapist to help you manage your feelings and responses to her behaviors.