If your wife yells at you, it does not mean that you are in an unhealthy marriage. But sudden and regular yelling can become a problem. When it is associated with criticism, defensiveness, and contempt. You both need to understand each other’s position and try to find some common ground.
Is It Ok That My Wife Yells At Me?
- If you are feeling disappointed or uncomfortable with your wife’s shouting. Then it is not ok. Because it can cause emotional or physical harm. That’s why both of you should work to improve your relationship. Try to uncover the underlying issues or misunderstandings that are causing her to yell.
- Yelling will literally destroy love and it is also considered destructive and abusive. So try to find a healthy way to argue because it is important. Make a mutual and peaceful effort to stop yelling in a fight without getting a third person involved.
- In fact, it is very easy to see only the faults of the wife and the more you look at those faults the less you can fix your marriage. So if you are a narrow-minded person and you are only looking for reasons why your wife is always wrong and why you are always right and why your wife does not want to change then this is not for you.
- But if you are an open-minded person and if you are someone who wants to explore new possibilities of creating amazing solutions by learning new science called relationship science. Then this article is absolutely for you. At first, you need to know why your wife is yelling at you and then you can successfully understand what you can do. All the things and tricks are really amazing so try to see the wonderful results.
The 3 Main Reasons Why Your Wife Is Yelling At You
Your wife yells at you because she is under too many responsibilities or pressure. You are not a responsible husband and you may have crossed the red line so her yelling may be a reaction to your behavior.
If your wife yells at you all the time then it’s a warning sign that she doesn’t see this relationship being successful. And is looking for a way out. But instead of discussing the problems in your marriage, she is looking for a way to vent her anger and yell at you. Because she is feeling depression, resentment, and anger for some reason. So you need to understand this deeply to fix it.
She yells at you because she doesn’t feel heard and doesn’t have enough love, affection, trust, respect, or other important components in her life. Which is important for a satisfying relationship.
She yells at you because she feels not satisfied with you or her married life. Maybe she feels you are ignoring her and you have been unreliable. She may be dissatisfied because you are out of money. She has experienced something bad about you or she doesn’t love you anymore!
Sometimes this dissatisfaction may be due to her struggling with low self-esteem and confidence. And this often leads to problems in the relationship. Perhaps she feels unattractive or hasn’t achieved enough in her life, but she takes out her anger through unacceptable behaviors like yelling, hitting, and screaming.
3- Her controlling behavior
Because she is a controlling wife, she often criticizes you and finds fault in everything you do. And she also uses manipulation and the victim card to control you. Mostly she may think she can never be wrong and will not give up until she wins the argument.
And she snoops on you. Maybe she thinks she is always right and she makes you feel guilty. She makes you feel indebted. Perhaps she yells at you when she feels she has the power to control you.
But sometimes her controlling behavior may be the result of emotional abuse or trauma that your wife has experienced at some point in her life.
Top 10 Things to Do If Your Wife Yells At You
1)- If you’re responsible then apologize
If you have upset your wife and given her a solid reason to yell, then you need to fix it immediately. You can easily find out what is the purpose of her behavior. After finding yourself responsible for her dissatisfaction and anger apologize for your mistakes and the things you’ve done wrong.
Sometimes, if you are strict with your wife, she may also avoid being soft with you. So try to keep her happy by creating more happiness within you. Learn to easily admit your mistakes and also be forgiving, then it will not be difficult for your wife to forgive you.
The words you speak and the way you act have a great impact on your wife.
2)- When your wife yells at you listen to her words carefully to analyze the situation
Listing to each other carefully is a secret of a successful marriage. When she starts yelling don’t shout back and try to calm yourself down and rest for a while. It’s important to analyze her problem so keep complete silence no matter how much she is yelling. Just take your time and assess all aspects of her words.
Try to stay calm by controlling your anger, and try to talk to her about the issue. If you’re not excited about the position, she also may be more inclined to listen. It’s a really wonderful trick that works amazingly. And it will definitely make your marriage happy, healthy, and long-lasting.
3)- Do something special for her to make her feel special and satisfied
If your wife is yelling due to anger because you broke her heart, let her broken heart heal and make her happy again by making her happy. Give her flowers, gift her a piece of jewelry, send her a love letter, take her out for a romantic dinner, or just order her favorite food. Do everything to win her heart back just like you did when she first fell in love with you.
Fulfill her wishes for which she is yelling. You can make your wife happy by making even one of her dreams come true. First, ask gently what does she wants to fulfill then work to make her dreams come true. Make a family where life begins & love never ends.
4)- Improve your behavior to lighten her stress
Your wife yells at you because she is stressed and already tired of you. Their patience has already worn out with your behavior not improving. Make your wife happy again by showing that you are trying your best to be a better husband. Give her hope by starting to break all of your bad habits.
You don’t have to get rid of all unwanted habits at once. At least show her that you are trying to change and move on. It’s a superb trick to lighten her stress.
5)- Have the patience to make a humble effort to reduce her yelling
If you want to sort things out amongst yourselves, then you should not lose your temper. Try to handle the situation like a polite person. Offer to help when possible. If your quiet person is struggling with yelling, offer to help in any way you can. This may include work, taking care of children, or simply being there for her.
Learn how to be humble with your spouse. Be a model of generosity and kindness for her. Remember all of her sacrifices and love. Learn to forgive your wife’s mistakes and her rude words. When you are a forgiving person, it will not be difficult for your wife to forgive your mistake.
6)- Make her feel loved to calm her down
Wives can be jealous and insecure. They can also feel vulnerable. These feelings can make them sad, tired, and yelling. If you want to please your wife and make her calm down, assure her of your true affection and loyalty. So you just need to show your love by kissing and hugging her, meeting her needs, and acting on her wishes.
Actually, a woman feels loved when you share your feelings about her. Like “I’m so blessed to have you in my life and I don’t want to see you angry or dissatisfied with me.” “Everything looks great and suits you but not yelling.” “Seeing you with a smiling face is always the brightest moment of my day. I cannot even express how much you mean to me.” Thus use some magical words to calm her down.
7)- Set boundaries in your relationship to not let your wife yells at you
She needs to understand that you are setting boundaries in your relationship and that you will no longer be a victim of her violent tendencies.
When your wife yells at you with hatred and disrespect it means she is responsible for damaging your relationship with her. When a woman loses respect for a man in a normal and ongoing way the marriage is over whether you get divorced or not. The circumstances that caused the humiliation and contempt no longer matter.
Once she sees you as someone who deserves to be treated as such (and you deserve it if you accept it) there’s no turning back for her love and respect. So try convincing her to set boundaries in your relationship. If she says no, then it’s up to you to decide.
8)- Work on personal development if she is a controlling wife
If your wife is bad-tempered, she could get angry just for quite a small issue. And if you feel that she yells at you because of her controlling behavior and using a form of abuse. I would suggest you don’t deal with her but work on personal development for yourself and consider some professional intervention if she is willing to participate with you or alone.
In the meantime, you can do things that intentionally nourish your soul by reading uplifting books or listening to uplifting podcasts or music you enjoy. You can join a support group and you can do the things that help you. Just notice how you feel and inspire positive thoughts that will take you to the next step in taking care of yourself.
9) Consider Saying Positive Things When Your Wife Yells At You
It’s important for showing empathy and working collaboratively to find a resolution. So remember to remain positive and respectful when communicating with your wife, even if she is yelling.
Try to avoid becoming defensive or retaliating with anger, as this can escalate the situation and make it more difficult to resolve. Instead, focus on active listening, showing empathy, and working collaboratively to find a resolution. For example here are some positive things that you could consider saying in response:
- “I understand that you’re upset, and I’m here to listen.”
- “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to upset you.”
- “Can you help me understand what’s bothering you?”
- “Let’s take a break and come back to this when we’re both calmer.”
- “I love you, and I don’t want us to fight like this.”
- “I hear what you’re saying, and I appreciate you sharing your feelings with me.”
- “I’m committed to finding a solution that works for both of us.”
- “Is there anything I can do to help make things better?”
- “Let’s work together to find a way to resolve this issue.”
- “I’m willing to put in the effort to make things right between us.”
10)- Don’t get discouraged when the trick doesn’t work and try the next
If the previous trick doesn’t work, stay motivated and try the next one. And encourage your spouse to talk to you about what’s bothering them, too. Sometimes a person who is in a state of panic can automatically calm down when he talks about his worries. If there’s anything you can do to ease your spouse’s sense of panic, do it.
If your wife does not agree to handle the situation peacefully, due to her controlling behavior. And if her yelling is affecting your health, don’t hesitate to take help from a professional.
My Wife Yells At Me Quotes
- “When your wife is yelling at you, it’s not about the words she’s saying. It’s about the frustration and pain that she’s feeling.” – Tony Gaskins
- “When your wife yells at you, it’s a signal that she’s feeling hurt, frustrated, or scared. Don’t take it personally, but try to understand what’s behind her emotions.” – John Gottman
- “When your wife yells at you, it’s important to remember that she still loves you. She’s just expressing her emotions in a way that’s not productive or healthy.” – Dr. Laura Berman
- “The worst thing you can do when your wife is yelling at you is to yell back. It only adds fuel to the fire and makes the situation worse.” – Gary Chapman
- “When your wife is yelling at you, it’s a sign that something needs to change in your relationship. Take the opportunity to listen, learn and grow.” – Mark Goulston
- “Yelling is not a communication tool, it’s an emotional release. When your wife yells at you, focus on the message behind her words and work together to find a solution.” – Brian Tracynull